I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
