I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
