so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
