how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Gay?
German.
Pity.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize