i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
