She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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