next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
