Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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