I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
