I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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