Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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