Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
