I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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