I can't watch pbs sober anymore
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
