What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
