i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
