Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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