I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
try to milk me bitch
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