How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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