She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
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Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
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I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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