Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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