i was rollin on her like bob the builder
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
