can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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