It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
