Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
