i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize