We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
