Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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