can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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