508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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