I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
