East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
