I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
