Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
