She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I still have a little drunk in my system
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
