im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
