Christians are straight up FREAKS
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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