Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
