Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
