dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
