The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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