I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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