she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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