Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
is that a dick in a sweater?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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