just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
