Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
