My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
