Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
did i just pee glitter
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
