Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
