speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize