tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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