Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
