you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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