i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
