Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
and she was petting her beer can
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
