I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize