alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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