Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
