I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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