good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
